


oh, when the winds they blow

by ApollosArtemis



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Post 3x07, and they didn't so now this exists, basically i just really wanted scorpion to let toby deal with his emotions, toby is sad because he was excited to be a dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApollosArtemis/pseuds/ApollosArtemis
Summary: One night, when they’re both up and staring at the ceiling, she whispers that maybe it’s better this way. That it’s good that they have time to just be them, before it’s them and somebody else. Logically that makes sense. In fact, a few months ago, that was the exact future he had envisioned for them.But since then, she had started building a crib and he would trace constellations on her flat stomach. Since then, they had started a whole new future.A fake future. One that fell apart and shattered into a million pieces.
Relationships: Toby Curtis/Happy Quinn
Kudos: 3





	oh, when the winds they blow

**Author's Note:**

> It's the last hour of my best friend's birthday, which means it's as good a time as any to post a sad Quintis fic right? (Hey Poppy, happy 19th, I love you more than I could ever let you know <3)

He doesn’t want to tell her. 

Doesn’t want her to know that it  _ hurts,  _ because it’s silly and illogical and it was never real to begin with and therefore it shouldn’t, but it does. 

Doesn’t want her to know that he might have been terrified, might have been torn about her being married to Walter, but he was also excited. He was happy. 

He wanted to be a dad, has been on the steady road to being  _ ready  _ for it ever since Paige’s pep talk.

Logically, he knows he should talk about it. Knows that he doesn’t want to talk about it with anyone but Happy, but she’s still beating herself up over delayed doctors visits and false positives. He doesn’t want to make it worse. 

In fact, he wants to make it better for her. But there’s a disassembled crib at the garage neither of them can look at, and there’s an eleven-year-old bouncing around from time to time, and Toby loves Ralph, would do absolutely anything for him, but right now it just hurts. 

He’s not sure the others understand. Cabe most likely does, but their pain seems worlds away from what he has gone through. Paige might, but for as far as he knows, she was pregnant once and it led to Ralph. 

He’s not even sure they know he’s suffering, because they know Happy cried but they also know they got engaged, finally, and to genius brains those two things cancel each other out. 

One future for another, but that’s not really how it works. 

He knew he’d end up marrying her. Knew that he’d wait for her, even if it would have taken those two years to divorce Walt. He hadn’t known always, not after their failed first date, and not for a few hours when he didn’t know what Happy’s marriage meant, but between those moments, it was clear as day. He was going to marry her. 

He is going to marry her.

It might be an ode to Paige that for the first time in their lives, all logic flies out the window and all they do is feel things.

One night, when they’re both up and staring at the ceiling, she whispers that maybe it’s better this way. That it’s good that they have time to just be  _ them,  _ before it’s them and somebody else. Logically that makes sense. In fact, a few months ago, that was the exact future he had envisioned for them. 

But since then, she had started building a crib and he would trace constellations on her flat stomach. Since then, they had started a whole new future.

A fake future. One that fell apart and shattered into a million pieces.

It feels dramatic. He doesn’t dare to bring it up, but they can always truly start trying to have kids. Just because this one wasn’t real, doesn’t mean they’re never going to have kids.

But damnit, he was really looking forward to it. 

Toby likes to think he’s done a pretty decent job at controlling his feelings. Happy knows that he’s sad, but she doesn’t really get the depths of it until he finds the stuffed giraffe he had bought after a semi-fight that had ended with her asking “are you happy with this?”. She hadn’t said it, that  _ this _ meant a future and a kid, meant complicated and most likely painful, but they both knew that was what it was. It’s something that has haunted him since, the fear in her voice and the look on her face. 

When he finds the toy again, thrown in a drawer for safekeeping until they sorted out a nursery, something breaks. 

Happy finds him on their bedroom floor with the giraffe, sobbing, and it feels wrong that she’s comforting him now, but it also feels less alone and less suffocating. 

It takes a while for his breathing to calm down, guided by her hug and a stream of words he doesn’t understand.

“I’m sorry, I just-”

“Hey, hey, no. You’re allowed to be sad. C’mon, let’s get off the floor?” 

They move to the bed, bringing the giraffe with them. They end up half laying down, Happy sitting up a bit more and Toby cuddled up against her.

“Let’s talk.” Happy offers after a while, because it doesn’t seem like he’s going to lead with this one. 

“I just- I was so scared. You know that. But I was also so  _ ready.  _ And the timing was fucked and possibly the worst one possible, but it would have  _ worked.  _ I know it would have. So I’m just- I don’t know. I’m just so disappointed.” 

“Hmm. I think that for me, the whole being pregnant thing didn’t feel real. Which is maybe also why I don’t feel as shattered as I probably should. But I get it, the disappointment.” 

“I keep tracking weeks even though it’s pointless,” Toby mumbles, fumbling with the giraffe.

“Doctor brain, probably.” 

“Probably,” Toby agrees, bringing the giraffe up to her face blindly and aiming for booping her nose.

“What was that?” Happy asks, after it fails and the toy ends up half smushed against her cheek before Toby lowers it again.

“That was silly. Thought it might cheer me up.” He sounds like he’s desperately trying to be light about the whole thing, like joking will somehow tape his heart back together. 

“Did it?”

“No. You didn’t laugh.”

She doesn’t really know what to say to that, doesn’t really know what to do with the way it makes her feel incredibly loved, so she makes a sound that resembles a hum and brings her left hand up to tangle in his hair. 

“This is nice.” Toby says then, sounding smaller than he ever has before. 

“I’m sorry,” Happy says before she can stop it.

“For what?”

“For false hope. And for not going to the doctor sooner.” She can feel that he wants to move, that he wants to look at her and make sure that she hears him, but she likes this, needs to just hug him for a while, so she tightens her other arm around him. 

“None of this is your fault.” 

“I could have-”

“No.” To compromise for being trapped against her, his tone gets firmer. “No. You couldn’t have done anything. We have a crazy job and we’ve been crazy busy, and if I thought you really needed to go to a doctor or that you were waiting too long, I would have dragged you there myself.” There’s a brief pause, and she thinks he might be waiting for her to say something, but she’s not really sure what he wants her to say. “Okay?”

“Okay.” 

“I love you so much,” he says then, back to the much quieter voice he was using before.

“I love you too.” It’s a weird sensation, that for a really long time she couldn’t get the words past her lips and now they don’t feel like enough. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me neither.” 

“We’ll be okay, right?” It’s something she hadn’t really meant to ask now, but it’s been on her mind for weeks and the thought that they wouldn’t, had almost been worse than finding out she wasn’t pregnant after all.

“Always.” It sounds certain, like he hadn’t doubted it ever, and she knows he’s probably faking the steadiness in his voice, but it works. 

It’s not perfect, the pain and the lingering sadness, all the could have beens and yet, somehow, also the blind faith in each other, but it’s enough. 

And, Happy thinks, it’s going to get better. Much better.


End file.
